Today started rough but steadily improved. Laura called me an unarticulate bastard - that was kind of fun but even better later on when I got to call her one, too.

The turnaround at work is ridiculous. Four people had their last day today and none of them gave advanced notice. Another couple are going after tomorrow and I’m sure there will be more to follow.

With all these people coming and going, we’ve come up with a lot of nicknames for people. Often I don’t even get to talk to someone before they’ve quit and gone. Still, the nicknames last long after they’ve quit. Anyway, I feel like trying to name all the nicknames I can think of:

• Boy (also sometimes Junior)
• Newb
• Marvin’s Boy
• Big Daddy
• Ryerson
• York
• Doofus (also Napoleon Dynamite)
• Rat Boy (also Pete Junior)
• Fast Eddie
• Queen Bitch
• Single-Digit IQ
• Feeble
• Turtle Boy
• Hostile
• Pit Stains
• Hideous
• Crazy

Hideous and Crazy are relatively new additions. Hideous is a big ugly woman who’s missing front teeth. But seriously, she’s amazingly ugly. Today Laura and I noticed that she’s got what looks like mold growing on her eat and arm. Asking one of the people she works directly with, apparently it’s some fungus she can’t take anything for since she might be pregnant. Ugh, only stupid people are breeding. Seriously though - a fungus? She’s got frakking fuzzy mold growing on her face. I don’t think you understand how disgusting this is. On a scale of 1-10, I’d give her a 1.5/10. There’s probably worse out there, but I’d hate to have to see it.

Then there’s Crazy. She started yesterday. A short red-head with something to proove. Laura and I went to Tim Horton’s for caffeinated beverages during the first break yesterday and during that time, Crazy sat with Jackie and went through some speech about how the guys kept helping her and telling her what she could and couldn’t carry. Whatever.

Later that afternoon though, I just introduced myself to her and she freaked out on me and gave me that same monologue about how evil the guys were for trying to help her. Ugh, whatever. Later in the day, she had a tantrum and had to talk to the supervisors for a while.

Today, she was stroking a desk leg inappropriately and pretending to lick it when she told Rick how horny she was and how she really just wanted a guy to bang her. Then she asked Rick if he’d be up for that. Poor Rick - so innocent. Later today, after most people had gone home, I saw Crazy posing for a picture with Rick. But like, flexing her man-arms and stuff. It’s just… terrible to remember.

Jerome: “What is wrong with this place??”
Laura: “I dunno, but I’m going to be sad to leave here - I’ve never been around so much insanity.”

I brought a bag of beverages for Laura and I today. Three Cokes, two Bawls and a Monster, which we split over the bottom 3/4 of the day. We were so hyped up on sugar and caffeine, it almost felt like we had been drinking. Since it would be bad to be drunk or high at work (supposedly), it’s the next best thing.

When I got home today, there was a big envelope addressed to Ryan from UW graduate studies. Shifting around the contents inside, I managed to look through the address window and read the first half of the first two lines, which were congratulating him on getting into the program. Excellent.

On my bike home, a 4-year-old told me I should be wearing a helmet on my bike. Yes child, this is very true.

Mike’s back from Europe today. He came over and we chatted for half an hour or so. That was nice - it’s just too bad he’s moving away so soon. Also, he told Shawn and I that when he’s packing up his stuff on Saturday night, he’ll give us a call and have us come over to have free reign over any stuff in the house that isn’t his and/or he doesn’t want. Cool.

afraid enough to stay wide awake